Eulogy for Sister Barbara Tucker We come together today from Texas, Florida, Maryland and Pennsylvania to celebrate Sister Barbara Tucker, faithful daughter, loving sister, trusted aunt, compassionate Grey Nun, esteemed colleague, beloved friend. Our God loved Barbara into life in 1939, a life gifted from the moment she was born to Paul and Ann Tucker. She was fed and nurtured by them as they shared their faith and values with her. Along came her sister Tishy and then her brother Paul and then baby Ellen. They had a happy childhood. The family has many cherished memories of these early days. When Barbara was in high school, she was a tomboy who enjoyed playing basketball with the boys in the neighborhood, keeping up with the best of them. Barbara graduated from Little Flower High School in Philadelphia. There she met Sister Mary Timothy who guided her in her vocational call and introduced her to the Grey Nuns of the Sacred Heart and to St. Marguerite D’Youville, our foundress. Before entering the convent, Barbara was dating someone who waited for three years after she entered to see if she would leave. That was 48 years ago! From the moment she entered in 1958, Barbara knew she wanted to teach. On her application to join the Grey Nuns, in answer to the question if she was ready to accept any type of work assigned to her by the congregation, she responded: “Yes, anything that one thinks I am suited for, but I prefer teaching.” Barbara was given the name Sister Ann Paul. Her first mission was at Christ the King School in Atlanta. One weekend, Barbara was on her bedroom floor drawing a large snowman on a piece of paper, to be used on a bulletin board in her classroom. When she picked up the paper, the imprint of the snowman had seeped through the paper and was also on the floor. The sisters who lived with her spent the next four hours trying to scrub the snowman off the floor with brillo. To this day, there may still be a snowman on that floor! Barbara was a country music fan and loved animals, especially dogs. She also was a sports fan. Eight years ago when Barbara was teaching Kindergarten and the Orioles were doing quite well, the first word she taught her students to spell (with motions) was O-R-I-O-L-E-S. And most of all she loved people. In 1963 at age 24, Barbara came to Yardley, as one of the pioneer sisters keeping watch over the grounds of the new Motherhouse. She and the other sisters resided in the original manor house on the property, the Dietz House, and they opened a kindergarten where Barbara was the first and only teacher for the first class, 5 students, for the new Grey Nun school, named D’Youville Manor, the beginning of the present day Grey Nun Academy. Its good reputation today has its roots in the standards Barbara set in its founding days. Barbara was the perfect person for this new endeavor: young, energetic, enthusiastic, loved life, full of joy, resourceful, creative, gifted early childhood teacher, lover of children, kind, cheerful, generous with her time, heart that was open to all. Whatever unusual tasks the early days required, Barbara was there with a helping hand. When the sisters moved to Yardley, Barbara’s father, who was head of canine training for the Philadelphia Police Department, gave the sisters a German Shepherd, Baron, for protection. Some of the Canada geese were not as fortunate to have Baron around. Barbara spent eight years in this historic location giving birth to a new school as well as to the new Motherhouse of the Grey Nuns in Yardley. Barbara wore many hats over the years. Her most natural, well worn and well respected hat was that of teacher. She was a simple woman who was very blessed with the ability to reach very young children and she loved them as they did her. She wanted them to know Jesus, she wanted them to believe in themselves. She wanted them to learn St. Marguerite’s compassion for all in need. She wanted them to reach their fullest potential. And she was also teacher to all of us. She modeled for us what it means to take life in stride. She taught us how to look at problems as opportunities. She drew out of us, gifts and strengths and abilities that we didn’t always know were there. She laughed at herself and helped us to do the same. She showed us the power of prayer. She made life worth living. She found joy in simple things and was passionate about life. And she showed us by example how to cope with suffering, how to deal with adversity and how to live life to the end. Barbara’s latest hat was that of clinic aide or as the student’s addressed her “nurse” in the school clinic. The students started flocking to the clinic once Barbara was there. Yes, Barbara was a healer of cuts and bruises, but she was a healer of spirits as well. As many of you from Baltimore know, Sister Barbara would take a seat in the main lobby of school as she rested on her way in and out of the building. She was always one of the first people you saw in the morning and last you saw at the end of the day. She would be there to remind you to tie your shoe, button your coat up or simply to get some rest. No matter what kind of day you were having, just a brief moment with Barbara to share your concerns or get a hug or to know she was praying for you, changed your outlook. You continued on your way a little lighter with your burdens put aside so you could focus on what needed to get done for the rest of the day and you could take in more of the blessings that were all around you. No matter which hat Barbara wore and no matter who is relating stories about Barbara, the story is always the same: Sister Barbara was the one who cared about you, who made you feel special, who listened to you, who prayed for you, who lifted your spirits, who believed in you, who loved you. Whether she was in Atlanta, Yardley, King of Prussia, or Baltimore, Barbara was Barbara: a trusted friend, good listener, needed confidant, and unselfish advisor, taking with her from each city a host of friends who continued to seek out that listening ear, that compassionate heart and that strength of prayer. One person summed this up quite well: Barbara was more than a person at Our Lady of Victory School; she was a spirit and a presence. And while Barbara was special for each of us, each of you helped Barbara to be who she was. Nancy, you were her faithful friend and you made it possible for Barbara to continue being active. Each of you, by sharing your life with Barbara, invited Barbara to become part of your life. Each of you enriched Barbara’s life. And to Mrs. Tucker, Tishy, Paul, Janet, Tara, and Jenna, thank you for sharing Barbara with us. Two special events happened within the past month that I want to share with you. In early January Barbara had an experience of Jesus while she was in St. Agnes’ Hospital. Jesus appeared at the foot of her bed and said he was ready for her. Barbara’s response was that she had more to do here. The second experience was that of her mother’s 90th birthday celebration. In God’s Providence, Barbara arrived at the rehab facility here the day before her mother’s celebration and her sister, Tishy, had flown up from Florida for the occasion, and the family gathered on Saturday in Barbara’s room to celebrate Mrs. Tucker’s 90 years of life. Looking back on these two events, you can see that they are graced, cherished times. Sister Kathleen Purser, GNSH Remembrance of Sister Barbara Tucker GNSH February 2, 2006 Matthew 18:1-4 Sister Barbara Tucker took these words to heart; she spent her religious life becoming little. Tonight we celebrate her entrance into Heaven. Barbara’s ability to teach young children was recognized almost immediately. In a very real sense the history of Grey Nun Academy begins with Barbara Tucker. In 1963, two years after her first Profession, Sister Ann Paul as Barbara was then known, was missioned to Yardley, PA as the first teacher. She welcomed five kindergarten pupils early in October 1963. By the end of that first school year, the number had grown to nine. Barbara loved her apostolate. She encouraged her young charges to discover the joys of learning, sharing, working, playing, singing, dancing, listening, helping, painting, praying and resting. She nudged, prodded, encouraged, supported and nurtured her young students who responded with eagerness, excitement, pride, joy and achievement. Barbara maintained her own professional development, continually updating herself to keep abreast of advances in early childhood education. Barbara’s reputation as an excellent Kindergarten teacher gradually spread through out the area. In September 1964 there were 17 kindergarteners and 16 first graders who paraded across the road to the pasture on a warm September day to witness the ground-breaking ceremonies for this Motherhouse. By the third year there were twenty-five kindergarteners plus others on a waiting list. Barbara stayed at Grey Nun Academy until 1971. Grey Nun Academy enjoyed a solid reputation thanks in no small measure to Barbara’s contributions. Some of her original kindergarteners had reached eighth grade; and Barbara’s expertise was needed elsewhere. In Atlanta, King of Prussia and Baltimore Barbara continued “becoming little” as she ministered to each little child she met daily, and also to their parents, her colleagues, administrators, friends, neighbors and of course to her family and Grey Nun community. Each of you has your own memories of Barbara. Many of my memories come from those early years at Grey Nun Academy. When our cook, Sr. Dominic Savio, was changed to the Melrose Motherhouse, Barbara and I were designated to do the cooking honors. We had many a laugh as we struggled with the mysteries of the kitchen. With plenty of help from both of our mothers we managed to preserve our small community from food poisoning. For years I had pictures of us preparing and cooking the Thanksgiving turkey dinner. That we all survived and lived to tell the tale is proof of God’s providence and mercy. Adaptability was another of Barbara’s assets, along with a healthy sense of humor. Like her Dad, Barbara also possessed a special way with animals especially dogs. She cared for Duke, our original, regal German shepherd watchdog, Ginger, the fox terrier companion whom Barbara nick-named “Sweetpea” and Baron. [Sister Mary Gertrude would roll her eyes and pretend to be “put out”, saying that Baron Von Hoffan had a longer pedigree than she did!] Initially I lacked the confidence to approach Duke until Barbara patiently helped me to feel comfortable with him. Barb’s love for her dogs Brandy and Buffy is well known. The last time I was with Barbara before she lost consciousness was several weeks ago when I drove Nancy and Buffy over to the Nursing home for a visit with Barbara. They were so glad to see one another. The hyperactive Buffy sensed that Barbara needed him to be gentle and he was like a lamb during the visit. Barbara perked up noticeably. Bridget and I live with the School Sisters of Notre Dame who have been praying with us for Barbara. Sister Sulpice Walsh vividly remembers staying with the Grey Nuns at Sacred Heart Villa in Cape May for several years when Barbara and Nancy hosted August Vacation weeks at the Villa. She remembers gracious Grey Nun hospitality, home-cooked meals, and a welcoming atmosphere. Mostly she remembers Barbara and Nancy’s constant efforts to help each guest enjoy her vacation. Sacred Heart Villa has been gone for about 15 years, but the effects of Barbara and Nancy’s hospitality are still cherished. We are all still a bit numb at Barbara’s sudden departure. Let us keep one another in prayer as we continue to remember Barbara with affection and gratitude. Sister Mary Karen Kelly GNSH |
Sister Mary Brennan - March 6th 2006 Good morning, This morning we continue to celebrate the life of Sister St. Clare, Sister Mary Brennan. Mary, born in Mineville, NY of Hattie and John Brennan, having shared her mother’s womb with Dottie and Bob, sister to John, Michael and Margaret. Indelibly imprinted and formed by that beautiful place and loving family. “Blessed are the gentle, they shall have the earth as an inheritance.” Mary was indeed gentle – but if you think gentleness means wishy-washy – not so. She had a strength in her caring easily recognized and respected. I was a Postulant when Mary was a Senior Novice. I remember her moving like the wind to take care of the sick. The story is told that when Mother St. Edwards was recuperating from a broken arm, Mary put a “Do not disturb” sign on her door and stationed herself in the hall to prevent well meaning visitors – including the Administration – until Mother was feeling better, that was unheard of in those days – a gentle strength. Her speed of movement was a cause of concern to the Novice Mistress, M.J.F. who asked her to slow down. Mother also asked Sr. Kathleen Sholette to speed up – causing them to run into each other on more than one occasion. Whether Head Nurse, Operating Room Supervisor, Director of Nursing Service, in charge of the Motherhouse Infirmary or Chapel or a volunteer, Mary fulfilled her duties with competence and care. The Nurses at Hepburn Hospital respected her and recognized her abilities. When we were still in full habit – they described her as moving so swiftly her veil was always straight out behind her. Mary always wanted to be on top or in the middle of things at the Hospital. She cherished her ministry. You could say nothing more complimentary to her than she was a good nurse. Ogdensburg Associate Betty Bernhard tells a story of Mary’s omnipresence at the hospital. Betty’s dad was very sick and at the same time she was giving birth to her youngest. All night long and in to the next day Mary went from her Dad’s room to the Labor room to the Chapel. “She was right there,” Betty says “for the three of us.” Later when Betty visited the Motherhouse, Mary again made sure she was well taken care of. When in charge of our former Infirmary Mary had a concern for the staff and was fair in her dealings with them. Everyone knew she loved a party – the best of them all was St. Paddy’s Day – with music and song and treats all day long. In most recent years, the combined toll of Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s became more and more evident. Though she didn’t carry on a fluent conversation, she would make humorous little comments with a twinkle in her eye. The same twinkle she and Dottie had when they played tricks on their uncle who could not tell them apart. She did her best to get out of going to Bee Long – an Adult Day Care Center where she received physical therapy. When caught – she went graciously and seemed to enjoy the people while there. However, she couldn’t resist the game. Before going to St. Joseph’s Manor, Mary had a few falls and spent some time in Providence Hall. When receiving her meds from friend Mary Mary whom she had hired – she asked if they couldn’t find something better than water for her to drink! Reluctantly the decision was made to move Mary to St. Joseph’s Manor Alzheimer’s Unit where she would be safe and receive the type of care we could not provide. Her departure from us was difficult. As gold tried in a furnace – she certainly was tested – with the Parkinson’s, the gradual loss of her beloved nursing, her memory, even words. We thank God that she is now at peace, standing tall with a twinkle in her eye moving rapidly to take care of everyone in heaven. Blessed are the gentle! We love you Mary. Amen. Alleluia.
Sr. Elizabeth Bagen, GNSH ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 6th, 2006 -Sister Mary Brennan
Mary Elizabeth Brennan was born May 9th, 1931 in Mineville, New York, the 6th and last child. Mary’s earliest claim to fame was that while she was the youngest, it was only by a few minutes. Mary was the last born of a set of triplets. Her brother Bob and her sister Dorothy led her in the race to be born that day. When speaking of this, Mary would say, “I allowed them to go ahead of me because I was very polite.” I first met Mary when I was 17 years old. Mary taught me to make square corners when I made my bed. She had me do it in front of her 3 times before she was satisfied. Even then if Mary spoke, I moved. Some of us have been reminiscing about those days and our memories of Mary – always moving and Mary had fierceness about her. She was fiercely faithful as a Grey Nun of the Sacred Heart for 54 years. She was fierce in her ministry as a nurse. If you were ill, Mary was right there beside you. She protected you, cared for you, and took care of all the little things that were not part of her job description but were a witness to the joy she brought in the service of others. In these last years which were so difficult, Mary still thought of us. The sister in the room next to Mary here at the Motherhouse told me that last summer Mary told her to knock on the wall if she didn’t feel well and she would be right there. Sr. Mary Brennan was the greatest success story Sr. Cassilda ever had. ( Sr. Cassilda was a very small person who trained us in household tasks as novices.) Mary’s last official job was as sacristan of this chapel. Every Friday, she would scrub around the altar on her hands and knees. She polished the pews fiercely until they shined. Mary’s St. Patrick’s Day party was infamous. When she was in charge of what then was the infirmary, the party went on all day (and Mary was an early riser) Music, decorations, food, drink, fun—there were lots of visitors that day! Mary never asked her staff to do what she didn’t do herself. If there was a crisis, Mary was there; something had to be cleaned up, Mary was right therewith her staff. Mary was very much like her namesake –Mary the handmaiden of the Lord. There is a poem about Mary’s name sake; I would like to read an excerpt in closing. It so personifies our fierce Mary. “Over the hillside country Mary went Mary had some words in her Vade Mecum she copied in 1995. “For all that has been Thank you. For all that will be, Yes. Sr. Maureen Quigley, GNSH ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sr. Dolores Fitzpatrick spoke of Sister Mary Brennan, tenderly, and lovingly, without benefit of notes. I asked her to review the comments she remembered sharing. To the best of our ability, here they are: Sister Mary Brennan and I shared several things – First of all, our name. She was Sister St. Clare. I was Sister Claire Marie. I'm still working on the saint part! We shared a love of the North Country – which was her home and my adopted and beloved home. We shared the Ogdensburg Advance. Mary or I would say, "What is Chuck Kelly writing this time?!" We shared tears and laughter and gossip over North Country news. What was most outstanding about Mary was her compassion. I want to share with you two examples of her compassion. Several years ago, I was trying to get something out of one of the big cabinet closets that are downstairs in the basement, when all of a sudden, one fell on top of me. Those who were here at the time refer to that day fondly as "the day Dolores came out of the closet". After I was discovered, and checked out at the hospital, they said I had a fractured vertebrae. I was in lots of pain. Mary Brennan, who was in the chapel before dawn each day, could see my light go on across the courtyard. The minute she saw that light go on, she'd be there – Within minutes, my bed was straightened, I had a heating pad from the infirmary, and a cup of coffee. Mary was compassionate. The second example goes back six years ago to Teresa Donnelly's last days. Teresa told us that she was willing to go to the infirmary but that if it was at all possible, she'd like to be able to stay in her room. Mary Brennan got the word and right away moved a few things into the room next to Teresa. Teresa lived only a few days, but Mary was there day and night to take care of her. Mary was a compassionate woman. March 6, 2006 |